Is there a doctor in the big house?

For Jacob's 4th birthday, we got him a doctor's kit toy. He loves it and plays doctor all the time. Well, all the time except for when he's playing PlayStation Lego games (like batman, indiana jones, and star wars) with his big brother. He has learned the difference between good guys and bad guys, or so it became apparent this morning.

We were loading up the car to get Joshua to school, and Jacob was toting along one of the pieces from his doctor kit. He said, "Mommy! I got my doctor toy!" "Oh great!" I said excitedly. "Are you going to be a doctor when you grow up?" "NO. I'm going to be a bad guy."

That figures....

A Krusty Krab Birthday party!

Dude. Why does time have to go so quickly!? Not only did my BABY just turn a whopping 4 (!) but that happened 4 weeks ago and I'm just now getting the blog up about his awesome party.

First I need to explain the history of my kids and their birthday cake choices. The first birthdays were always picked by me for obvious reasons, but as soon as they developed a personality and interests, it was clear what each one wanted. Unfortunately they often wanted the same thing, and sorry, as much as I love them, I just couldn't do that. Where's the creativity in making the same old cake over and over. Luckily it hasn't been too much trouble, until this last birthday. Jacob wanted a spongebob cake. But, I had already done a square yellow cake for Joshua, so I had to think outside the box, er, bun.

So, a giant hamburger patty, aka Krabby Patty, cake was invented.

After a quick trip to googleville, I discovered that I was clearly not original in this whole Huge hamburger as cake idea. Multiple sites were dedicated to their attempts at this feat. Many of them impressed me. Some of them just frightened me, but all of them were helpful in guiding my final choices.

I made a trip to Country Kitchen, our local candy supply store, and purchased my first ever fondant. I opted for the pre-colored stuff to make my life easier, but I'd be willing to try it from scratch next time. I bought primary colors since I'd be needing red for tomatoes, green for lettuce and orange (red and yellow) for cheese. the blue just got thrown out. My apologies to the fondant police.

One of the sites used a brownie for the burger portion of the cake. I thought this was genius, and a very clever way to get as much sugar as possible into this fast food fakery. So, I baked two white cakes and one brownie. I filled one cake pan up higher, to achieve more of a bun look.






I started mixing the yellow fondant with a tiny bit of red fondant. I'm glad I started with a tiny bit of red, because it didn't take much to turn all the yellow I had a nice shade of fake cheese orange. It works a lot like playdoh and was fun to use.

I layed it out on waxed paper and sprayed it with cooking spray, based on recommendations I found online to keep the fondant from drying out.

After I rolled the ball of fondant out flat, I simply cut it into the shape of a piece of american cheese.

I repeated this step until I had 3 slices,

One perfect slice.








The tomatoes were fun to do. Obviously rolling
them into a round circle was key, but one tip I found online was to square off the edges to make them look more like real tomatoes. I just used the blade of a knife and ran it around the edge of the circle. Then, used a toothpick to make the little indents on top for effect.








The lettuce was my favorite part. I used straight green for this, but if I were to do it again, I'd mix some white into, or maybe a little yellow. It was almost too dark green. To get it to look wrinkled like actual lettuce, I took more advice from the trusty ol' internets, and balled up my saran wrap first before pressing the ball out thin with my hand, then wrapped the saran wrap all the way around, making sure to keep it wrinkled. When I pulled the wrap off, it left all the lines, making it look very authentic.



Layering the cakes with a buttercream "mayo", and the cheese. I picked the edges off the brownie to make it look more hamburgery too. And it really did look like actual meat. Kind of creepy.

Added the lettuce and tomatoes....

I placed pine nuts on top to look like sesame seeds. Some sites used sliced almonds, but I thought these would look best.

Also, most of, if not all, the sites I looked at left their buns unfrosted. I opted to frost mine. Too much sugar is not an option on birthdays.

The final product.

I'm not sure you can see them, but the candles on top are spongebob themed, with cute little pineapples, and underwater flowers, and spongebob himself. Not too over the top. I then piped his name with a bright red buttercream to look like ketchup on top. The fries were made of sugar cookies, and drizzled with more "ketchup."

I printed the red and white paper from my computer to cover the cake board.

And, most importantly, the birthday boy LOVED it.

Woodburn Missionary Church event

This weekend was quite busy, but fun! I had the pleasure of being involved in the Woodburn Missionary church Women's ministry spa day.

About 100 women attended, and were treated to break out sessions, snazzy fruity drinks with flowers in them, a well thought out cruise theme, and lots of shopping.








We were part of the shopping experience, obviously, and had a table set up to sell our pretzels, apples and marshmallows.

I had no idea what would sell and what wouldn't, so I tried to bring a variety. The most popular item were the 4" pretzels, and then the marshmallows. I was surprised by that actually. I thought the caramel apples would go fast...especially the new Pumpkin Pie ones. The are to die for. But, for whatever reason, we only sold about half of what I brought.

Everything else sold like hot cakes.







My mom came with me, and kept me awake all day. I had about 4 hours of sleep the night before, and got up way earlier than should be natural. And, being on the candida diet, I had no caffeine to perk me up either...just a bag of brazil nuts and some celery. Mmmm. Hmmm.












Mark and the boys stopped by during lunch and livened the day a little, but the boys quickly discovered the Lito Deck, and bailed into the "pool". Jacob was strangling the fake palm tree when Mark quickly decided to get out of there.












Here's a picture when they were actually sitting still.

Overall it was a fun filled day and I got some cool nail polish from the girls at the booth next to us.

I will definitely be there again next year!

Stop touching me, and other fun stuff.

My kids have reached that age. I'm assuming it's a stage, perhaps one that lasts forever, but still, not something that is my fault, ok?! Sorry, I'm a little on edge...

What I mean is. My two wonderful boys have decided that it was time in their young life to start complaining about each other. It started a few months ago with Joshua getting upset if Jacob took something of his. That I can understand. I mean, if someone takes something of yours you have the right to be peeved.

But now it has morphed/escalated into a situation where not only does Joshua HATE everything that Jacob does, but Jacob is aware of this, and does it ten times more often.

Example: I walk to pick Joshua up from school every day. I have a double stroller in which Jacob sits behind Joshua. The very second Joshua sits down, Jacob is in his face. Usually it's to say "hi Joshua" but lately it's to make some annoying noise or to "spit" at him. no, he's not actually spitting, it's just a raspberry kind of sound, but it is annoying.

So the rest of my formerly enjoyable walk home has turned into bickering and whining between them. "Stop touching me!" "bbbzzbzzzbbzz" "Stop spitting at me!" "Bzzbbbbzzzzzzzzz" "Stop it!"

I can't even blare my headphones loud enough to drown out the sound. I'm trying to decide if I should give up the walking and kill the environment a little more with my gas guzzling SUV, in exchange for saving my ever loving mind. Not sure which is more hopeless at this point.

And in other topics, I've gotten a fairly large order recently for the mini pretzels (about 600 of them) and OMG it's so not a fun time. It is taking forever to do them for some reason and I've run into multiple issues. My wholesaler has been out of the required sprinkles, the pretzels have been too big for the desired packages, resulting in me needing to go a size up, the type of cereal wasn't right at first, so we had to change to a different one.

I'm not totally complaining, because I like the company I'm doing these for, but at some time when you own a business you wonder if time involved is worth more than actual money paid.

Lots going on in the coming weeks...gearing up for the holidays. I can't believe it's Fall already. I love the cold temps for candy making, but I do miss the sunny warm days.

Field Trips, Fevers and Fast deliveries

Just another day in my house.

It began at 4 a.m. this morning. My son Jacob, who had gone to sleep early last night with a low grade fever, woke me up wanting to go downstairs. I didn't fight him on this, because I never win. We packed up a comfy blanky and a teddy bear and landed ourselves on the sofa in front of spongebob. We were both back to sleep in a matter of minutes.

Joshua woke up at 7 and then my day began again. He was very excited because his daddy was taking him on a field trip with his kindergarten class to the Dekalb County Fair. In between getting him ready for the field trip and keeping an eye on Jacob's fever, I was trying to get myself into some kind of decent appearance for my first meeting with the owner of our client the Espresso Gallery.

Mark usually delivers the pretzels to them, but I wanted to meet her, and he was going to be gone on the trip, so I had planned to drop the pretzels off myself this time.

Got a snack for Joshua, some kleenex just in case the farm animals triggered his allergies, and his back pack ready to go. Mark was just down the street when I realized they forgot his back pack. Thank God for cell phones! I rushed it out to them, said goodbye for the fifth time that morning, and two of my family members were on their way to having a nice day.

Back inside to check on Jacob...still practically comatose on the couch. He just kept saying, "I hurt." I was beginning to worry that it was something like appendicitis or a bladder infection, but then I realized that I was also coming down with a sore throat and aches, and seriously doubted the possibility that I'd caught a bladder infection from him. That made me feel a little better knowing that he just had the flu. But, neither Motrin nor Tylenol were making a difference. Usually one or the other gets them back to normal feeling within a few hours, but this had been over 12 hours and no change.

I managed to pull myself together with a quick, somewhat professional looking pony tail. I finished getting the order together for the 4 coffee shops and was ready to walk out the door when my cell phone rang.

It was one of our best clients, however, they are also our most spontaneous clients. It is not unusual for them to call on a Monday and want 200 pretzels by Tuesday afternoon. Today was no different. They wanted a quick order of about 24 pretzels and 4 bags of bark by today.

Thankfully I had just made up a bunch to have on hand just in case. I left the house with my 3 year old just in his diaper and a t-shirt...but wrapped in a comfy blanket. Swung by the shop to pick up the order for the 4 Espresso Galleries and gather the new last minute order. Realized I had no idea how to get to the Espresso Gallery corporate offices and no way to contact Mark on the field trip. The owner of the store was unavailable as well. I searched their name on my trusty iPhone web browser, mapped out the location, and found it within a few minutes. Then, headed to deliver my other order in record time.

By the time we got back home, I was feeling a little run down, but Jacob was starting to perk up. One sucker and a few gold fish crackers later and the boy is practically back to normal.

After weeks of driving me crazy, my craft area finally got my attention today, and I began organizing it. Jacob made his way to the table and started getting into everything and singing...I knew then that he was going to be just fine.

A very crazy start to a somewhat typical day. Being a business owner is certainly never boring.

Hurricanes

We are planning our annual trip to the Outer Banks this week. With our leave day being Friday, I have a lot to do. Worrying about which hurricane is going to hit us first wasn't exactly top on my list when I first made it, but it has quickly landed there. I'm not sure if I'm terrified or excited. I've never witnessed a hurricane. I've had my share of tornado warnings, and seen a tornado up close and personal once though. At least a hurricane gives you advance notice, and we'll have time to escape if need be, but still...kind of puts a damper on the whole fun in the sun thing.

And in preparation for our leave, I've had to get a lot of business details under control. I always like to let my wholesale clients know in advance that I'll be leaving in case they need something while I'm gone. It has happened in the past where I get an order while on vacation. I can't drive home to fill any orders this time, so it's plan ahead or get nothin'!

Many of them ordered right away, and a few waited until the last minute, but I've got everybody taken care of. Of course there's the chance that I'll get an internet order, but I'm not too worried about that. Those are usually pretty flexible.

We've had several big orders lately and a few web orders too. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but it keeps me on my toes. With Joshua being in Kindergarten, it has really given me a nice chunk of time to work and get things on a more organized level. It seems like it should be common sense, but I hadn't really realized how much more hectic things are with two kids.

Joshua has always been my quiet, obedient child. He doesn't really seem to take up much of my time or require a lot of attention, like Jacob does, but now that he's in school I'm noticing just how much time he actually did occupy. All the times I have to stop what I'm doing to watch him do some crazy stunt or look at his video game or get him juice/food etc. Not to mention all the times I just randomly stop to hug and kiss the heck out of him, or push him on the swing outside.

Kind of throws a kink in your focus, which can really slow down progress on any project. Now that he's not here, and Jacob seems to have calmed down quite a bit, I'm able to focus and get more done in a shorter amount of time. I have lots of leftover time to play with Jacob, and then by the time school is out, I'm refreshed and ready to handle Joshua and all of his crazy antics.

Who knows, I might actually get some more marketing done for DipSticks. Lately I've just been keeping up with what comes my way, I haven't actively been trying for new business. And, I'm even starting a second business...because I'm insane....so that is taking up a bit of my creative energy too. It's not the same kind of business, so it won't interfere or take any attention away from DipSticks, but it will give me something to do during the day.

I'll post more about that after vacation. I hope to have it finalized by then, and perhaps even a new client or two. Seems like hurricanes come in many forms...

I was nearly done in by a kickity kick ball

My son Jacob turned 3 on Friday. I had a heck of a time thinking of what kind of cake to make him.

He loves Spongebob, trains and balls, but I've already done those cakes. I didn't want to do a similar one for him that I had already done for Joshua.

So, one day I asked Joshua what kind of cake he thought I should do for Jacob, and he gave it some thought. After a few minutes he said, "How about Wow Wow Wubbzy!" My brain did a very quick scan of Wubbzy's shape to determine if I could even make that, and since he is primarily a rectangle, I said "Yes! What a brilliant idea."

When the time finally came to plan the cake, I had opted for just a 9 x 13 white sheet cake that I planned on frosting yellow, and cutting out Wubbzy's little bumps/ears or whatever they are on top of his head. Easy. Peasy.

But, unfortunately at the last minute I also decided to add hands, feet, tail and a kickity kick ball. I cut the hands, feet and trademark tail out of cardboard with the intent of frosting them later. But, the kickity kick ball was going to be a chocolate cake made from scratch, with mousse layers and a ganache frosting. Blue with light blue polka dots...just like on the cartoon.


The sheet cake and appendages came off without a hitch. I frosted them all yellow, and piped dots on and around the cake to embellish. I finally traced all the parts with a black frosting, and made eyes, nose and mouth as well. Wubbzy was complete, and ridiculously cute if I do say so myself.

The chocolate cake on the other hand....

I have no idea what went wrong. I've made cakes for years, and never have I seen such a thing. The cake would not come out of the pans at all. They crumbled and cracked and fell apart, but I was determined to salvage it. I managed to get one cake round on the cake plate, then topped it with some chocolate mousse. So far so good. Then, I carefully placed the next cake on top. Very shaky looking, but I persisted. I topped it off with more mousse and walked away to rinse the dishes. When I returned, half the ball had fallen off. The cake cracked right along the side and fell. I glued the crap out of that thing with frosting and mousse and mangled it back to a semi-circular looking object. I was not about to be outsmarted by some flour and eggs, by god!

Then, my brilliant ganache idea was up next to bat. I poured it on top of the ballish shaped object, and watched as it ran all over my freaking table, and over the already perfectly frosted yellow hands of the Wubster.

I was not daunted by this however. Apparently I was in a good mood that day, because otherwise I normally would've tossed the whole entire chocolate mess into the garbage...or more than likely eaten the crap out of it from stress, but apparently this candida diet has also helped me cope with these type of situations. Who knew.


After cleaning up most of the spillage of the ganache, I carefully piped cute little light blue circles of buttercream all over the ball...only to watch them SLIDE RIGHT OFF!

I grabbed those frickin' frosting balls and walloped them back in the ganache bowl. I scraped off all the ganache I could without compromising even more of the cake/mousse fiasco, and mixed up a bit of dark blue buttercream. I swirled the buttercream in with the other remnants of blue ganache and chocolate mousse, creating, in my own mind, a nice tie dyed look to this lovely kickity kick ball. Not exactly the same as the show, but those are the breaks.

I carefully piped MORE light blue buttercream circles. Some of the ones on the edge started to slide off again, but I didn't care. I was SO done with that ball.


I cleaned up the ganache spillage off of everything I could and managed to mess up more of the yellow Wubbzyness, re-piped some of that, and called it done. Took my photos and wondered if I should Photoshop them before putting them on here.


In an effort of honesty and imperfection, I will post the actual photos. I'm so not an expert, but I pretend like I am in my own head, so this just kills me that the ball didn't turn out. I will do some research to see what happened. I don't think I left out an ingredient, but that's not an impossibility.

Most importantly, Jacob had a great time and loved his cake, and of course had no clue as to what mommy went through to get it just right for him. Everyone ate both cakes, and they tasted great, despite the crumbliness of the chocolate one. The favorite, oddly enough, was the chocolate mousse cake.

But from now on when I watch Wow Wow Wubbzy with my son, I will always, always hold a grudge for that Kickity Kick ball...

Before shot of the Wow Wow Wubbzy cake.

Wubbzy and Kickity, barely hanging on.

Closeup of kickity, giving into the pressure.

Jacob had a great day anyway! He loved his new light-up dino shirt, too.

Thank you lake for fixing my son.

Awhile back I posted about my son Jacob not taking baths anymore. I received several great suggestions, but unfortunately none of them worked. Showers...outdoor baths....new toys. But, he was still terrified of the bath.

Then, we went to the lake for vacation. He didn't even get in the lake, but for some reason, now that we're back home, he wants to take baths all the time. He took two yesterday.

I have no idea what the heck happened, but thank the lord. Kids are weird.

Bathroom emergency. Backup requested.

Dear Internet, I need your help.

My almost 3 year old son Jacob has developed an acute fear of the bathtub. It may or may not have something to do with with potty training, and/or a battery operated fish.

Several months ago, great progress was being made on potty training him. We let him run around the house in his birthday suit, and he told us when he had to go. He even told us sometimes when he had a diaper on, or would take off his diaper and pants and head to the potty.

I thought a miracle was occurring, because his older brother was almost 4 before he was fully potty trained. Then, for some odd reason, out of nowhere, when we would put him in the bath he would freak out, grab his johnson and get out of the tub to sit on the potty. I thought at first he just had to go really bad, but now every time we take off his diaper he freaks out and grabs the goods.

I have even gone so far as to get in the tub with him, but this does nothing but get me soaked while he screams at the top of his lungs. He went almost 2 weeks without a real bath. We just washed him down with a rag. And his hair...forget about it. When I wash his hair, I wait for the pounding of the CPS to come knocking on our door. It's that bad.

A probable cause is that some soap got in some nooks that didn't feel so good, or maybe that my older son terrorized him with the battery operated fish. But, shouldn't those memories be gone by now? We've eliminated the fish, and any "soap in unwanted nook" sting should be gone by now too.

So, what do I do? I've tried being funny. I've tried easing him into it by giving him a bath in the sink. I've tried bribes and new toys and soothing words, but none of it is working.

I assume he will eventually grow out of this, but until then, how do I explain the smell?

Losing it.

Not sure if anyone cares, or if anyone can relate, but I am seriously, seriously, losing my freaking mind.

I don't know what happened between last week and today, but I'm leaning towards the possibility that my kids also got a lobotomy while we were in the hospital for their strep throat. I can't prove it, but that's the only logical option.

Since they started feeling better they have been nothing but ungrateful devil children put here on earth to see to it that I eat chocolate and shoot myself. In that order, of course. What would be the point of shooting yourself and then eating chocolate? That's just stupid.

To describe their behavior would take much more effort than I am willing to put into it this morning, but let's just say I am being pulled in twelve different directions by two tiny little humans who consistently piss each other off in ways that no one understands. Screaming and crying and hitting and whining. All, not on my list of fun times.

"I want food!" "I want juice!" "Spongebob!!!" "I want my computer!" I want more food!" "Apples!" "Crackers!" "Juice!!!!" "Jacob, stop hitting me!" "Jossa (jacob's word for joshua) AHHHEHHHEHEHEH!!!!" "

And now that summer is here, screaming at them is a bit more challenging. I'll say something like "What is your problem!? Why are you being such a pain?" only to look out the window and see my neighbor standing outside...through the open, screen window. Hmmm, can't even imagine what's going on in her mind. Perhaps, "Who to call? who to call? Child protective services or 911?" So, now I have to be more aware of the window situation, and before I let out a blood curdling screech, I quickly glance up at the windows. That determines my noise level.At least in the winter there's a slight barrier of glass to muffle the screeches.

Not that my kids even hear me. I say the same thing ten times in a row. "Joshua, don't swing that around in the house, you'll hit the dog or your brother." While Joshua is still swinging said object, "Joshua....I just said not to swing that." Swinging..."Joshua!!! What did I just say?!" Still swinging damn thing...."Joshua, I'm going to count to 5 (swinging) if you don't stop swinging that thing (swinging) by the time I get to 5, I'm going to (swinging) send you upstairs for the rest of your life." 1....2......Swinging, swinging, swinging, now I've lost it. I don't even get to 5. "Give me that thing right now," I say in my deepest, most evil voice and yank it out of his hands. Then let the waterworks begin. Hurray! More. Freaking. Crying.

My house looks like a bad Roseanne episode (wow that shows how out of date my TV references are), with dishes sprawled about, usually with the dog licking one clean, and toys that I didn't even know we had have some how found their way onto every square inch of my floor. The sofa cushions have become the best toys in the world, but only if they are stacked on top of each other to jump onto, or leap from. And then of course, all the sofa pillows, from both sofas, need to be placed strategically throughout the house, because if you don't walk on them, your feet will catch on fire.

I send them outside so I can clean up inside, and they inevitably end up whacking each other with a golf club or baseball bat, or a stick. One or the other comes crying inside to me within minutes of being outside. Why is this happening?!

I'm an only child, so having a brother/sister relationship is over my head. Maybe this is normal, but dear god. I should have been given more patience with each kid, not less.

The only solace I take in all of this is that my annoying neighbors who, on the north side of us have barking dogs and screaming kids, and on the south side of us smoke so much that I'm developing second hand lung cancer through my own house, are getting paid back with my crazy, out of control children.

When you find me dead in my house after shooting myself...rest assured, there will be chocolate smudges all over my face....

Update do dah

Whew. Another not so boring weekend around here, unfortunately.

The breathing difficulties ala Joshua ended up being Strep Throat. We did not even catch it until he tried to finally eat, and screamed like he had just swallowed razor blades, which I'm sure is what it felt like.

I looked in his throat, and sure enough, those pesky white spots. Unfortunately this did not get noticed until after doctor's office hours-of course-and I thought I'd wait it out until Monday, only applying some natural aids to comfort him.

This worked for the most part, except he was still not eating. He said, "I'm too sick to eat Mommy. I have bumps in my throat, see...." while sticking his tongue out. He said, "My heart is beeping too fast because I exercised and now my heart is too big." And, "I can't eat until I see the doctors." I giggled at his observations, but still worried a bit.

Then, Saturday morning came with the very hot to the touch Jacob, crying and moaning. I knew what I would find in his throat, but looked anyway only to find that, yes indeedy, he also had Strep.

I wavered about what to do for hours. We ultimately decided to take both to the hospital, and bypassed the stinky after hours clinic. I just couldn't wait until Monday for our doctor.

At the hospital, Joshua was hilarious. He proclaimed how comfy the bed was and thought we should take it to his doctor's office, and began his list of foods he wanted to eat once he was all better. Chips.....Goldfish Crackers.....and Muffins! Muffins with yellow frosting from the food store to be exact. Then, when daddy asked him to bring my purse to me, he said, "But I'm too sick, see...." While sticking his tongue out for proof. He also rubbed Jacob on the head to make him feel better, and picked out a nice stuffed puppy from the nurse's puppy drawer for him.

After assessing the damage, and rambling about third world countries and using big words I'm not even sure he understood, our doctor sent us home with the requisite antibiotic scrip, and we settled in at last in our comfy house. Joshua still wouldn't eat, and kept reminding us of the bumps. "I'm too sick to eat" while he's running around the house tormenting the dog.

I started to worry, as this was the third day with no food for him and he was starting to look a little Billy Bob Thorntonish. Finally, after many trials and requests, he settled on Pokemon macaroni and cheese. The first bite scared him, and I made him chew it like he was 90 years old "Until it's soft and smooth, gramps!"

He cleaned up two whole bowls of it and I did the hallelujah dance of joy. If you know me, macaroni isn't usually something to cheer about around here, but today it was heavenly.

Jacob is still struggling through this. Poor guy is sleeping it off in a big way. I hope by tomorrow their antibiotics will have kicked in and done their job. But, we will be closely following this up with some good quality PRObiotics to get those good germies back where they belong. yin and yang.

The great, great news about all of this, is that the breathing treatments were unnecessary, and that means Joshua may have outgrown his bronchitis/allergy induced asthma/whatever the heck the doctors pull out of their hat syndrome.

It's kind of strange how their illnesses played out so differently. Joshua's developed slowly, culminating with the painful spots on Friday, while Jacob's arose suddenly, on Saturday, which allowed us to treat them at the same exact time. This saved time at the doctor office, and will make it much easier on my ten day antibiotic memory assignment. Things have an interesting way of working out sometimes.

Mommy, watch me! Part II

Lord help me. I think Joshua is going through some kind of regressive growth stage. I noticed a few weeks ago that he was starting to ask me to watch him all the time. That's not a problem really, except that what he wanted me to watch were things like his foot being on the wall on this spot, and then hey watch, my foot is now on this other spot. Or him walking backwards. Or moving his finger in a circle in the air...What do you say to that?

I just nod my head and say "yeah, Joshua, that's great." I'm probably setting him up for huge failure when he grows up when he'll find out people don't really get that excited about normal body movements.


Then a few days ago he was mad that I wouldn't let him have ice cream for lunch. After ten minutes of a scream fest, he decided, okay, I'll have the chicken and mashed potatoes. However, he put my hand on the fork, and pointed to his mouth. He wanted me to feed him! Like.A.Baby.


That same day, Jacob was playing on the piano. It sounded a lot less like a car accident than usual, so I told him he was doing a good job. Joshua meanwhile, who was sitting on the potty to pee, says, "What about me Mommy? What about me?" Um...good peeing Joshua?


What's this about? How do I deal with this? Mark says it's a phase and that Joshua just wants attention. But what I don't understand is that I yell at Jacob pretty much all day, so why would Joshua think that's better than the way I treat him, which is usually quite the opposite of screaming, with giant hugs and kisses and lots of praise for bodily movements.

I am seriously confused....someone hold me.

Busy weekend

I have more pretzels to make today, so I won't be adding any major posts. Sorry to disappoint.

However, I have created a very cute hang tag for a baby pretzel that I'm dying to share. I will hopefully get time to take the picture and get it up online later.

Saturday we start Joshua in soccer, then I have a moms meeting, then to the shop for some cleaning for the Board of Health inspection (yippee!) and then to the Big Eyed Fish for dinner to celebrate Mother's Day with my mommy.

Apparently this place is awesome. They have a clown who walks around doing tricks and making balloon animals. It's sure to scare the crap out of Jacob, landing us back in our car for the long, whiny road home before we even order. Should be fun!

Mother's day is Sunday, and I seriously plan to do zilch. Tea. Chocolate. Book. My idea of a good time.

I am going to post about my very first mother's day though...check back cuz you will feel so thankful you weren't me on that day....my husband should hide about now.

The many faces of crack

These photos are about a year old, but they are priceless and still relevant, so I just had to share.
I gave Jacob the last drippings of my white mocha one day, and, well, see for yourself...

A Starbucks fan for life. I wonder what they put in those things, anyway? Hmmm.

Just put your coat on!

Okay. Some background....I have always done everything for my sons. I never thought twice about it, just did it. I dressed them. I brushed their teeth. I put their coats and gloves on. I put Joshua's backpack on. Underwear, socks, shoes...yes, it's my fault, I did it all.

I thought it was awesome, because I was not one of those parents who were constantly screaming at their kids to "Put your coat on!" "Get your shoes, now!" I didn't have to yell because I did it for them.

Except I forgot one thing...they are supposed to learn that at some point they have to do it themselves. On Tuesday, Joshua's preschool teacher said to me in the softest, most condescending way, "We are working with Joshua on how to put his coat on."

My first thought was, "Thanks, that saves me some time." Then, it dawned on me, that what she really meant was "You stupid parent. This is something we shouldn't have to worry about. You are a horrible mom for coddling your child like this, and now we actually have to teach him something."

So, this morning I dutifully tell my child to put his coat on now, damnit! Why can't you put your coat on? You're 5 now, your teacher thinks you should be able to do this already. Crocodile tears streaming down his face. I feel awesome.

Meanwhile, Jacob is crying because the dog is within inches of his cereal and it's devastating for him, don't I understand and why can't I move right now to stop this vile creature from drooling on his cereal?!

Then, I put on Jacob's socks (sorry, it's a habit I can't break all at once apparently) and then horror of all horrors I put his shoes on too. but, this is not a good answer for him. he wants to throw them across the room and cry some more about how horrible I am for putting shoes on him and can't i see that he's busy eating cereal with dog drool in it, and that shoes are not the priority right now woman!

So, I turn my attention to the boy with crocodile tears that are pooling around his feet at this point. Face Red, Eyes Bloodshot. I am on top of the world! Damn preschool teachers and their helpful suggestions....now look at what you made me do. my kid is crying, and I feel like a horrible mom for trying to get him to put his own coat on. He's only 5, it's not like he'll be in high school and need help with his outerwear, or underwear for that matter. What's the big deal?

He puts his coat on, sort of. Then, I sort of help a little tiny bit, then I teach him how to zip, and then he starts crying again because that's just too much information and the teacher only said to know how to put my coat on mom, so why are you filling my brain with all this useless information before you're told to, you crazy crazy over achiever you!

Okay. Coat on. Now I can move my attention to Jacob who does at least still have his socks on, but I can't find his shoes that he threw across the room, so I begin looking for them only to remember that I had actually picked them up and put them on the table already thinking that would be a good idea, so I could find them easier.

This time he's ready for his shoes, and things go smoothly, until I mention that I'm going grocery shopping and Joshua decides that he wants to go too. But he wants to go now, not after school, no school today mom, i don't want to go to schoooooolll!!!

At this point I'm threatening home school to him like he should wish he came out of someone else's womb because I am so over this fighting and I just want these kids to want to do what I say and not argue ever because don't they know that it's hard being a mom and I just want them to be happy and not cry all the time. I should be crying all the time, not them! That's the rules, right?

I pick Joshua up from school in one hour, and I am breathlessly waiting for what we'll all be crying about then. Ahhh, parenting. Who wouldn't want to do this all day?

I wouldn't trade it for all the peanut butter and chocolate in the world.

Crying in my sippy cup.

My son Jacob is 2 1/2 and is going through a phase...at least that's what I'm telling myself.


It seems lately I spend most of my time looking for his "Jew" (his non anti-Semitic term for juice), which is inevitably rotting away somewhere in a sippy cup that is determined to never be found again.



If I don't find it immediately, he resorts to standing on the coffee table and fake crying, for, like, ever.

I don't know if he thinks this will bring his sippy cup out miraculously, or if he's testing the theory that mommy is a time bomb. Either way, it's not working/working respectively.

**Please note: we have 4 sippy cups in rotation, all of which go missing at the exact same time, or are all falling out of the cupboard at the exact same time? What's that about?

Sippy cups have been the bane of my existence since the first one I purchased in 2003. It either leaks, is hard to put together, leaks, breaks, or leaks. I've never found a non leaker that won't leak. If you know of one, I'd be happy to try it, but I won't believe you. For me, it will leak.


For now, I endlessly search under every cabinet, every chair, sofa, and table, for this freakin' sippy cup that is leaking it's contents to spite me.

He doesn't understand that I can't find it. To him, it should just appear because he's asking for it. I've got better things to do than look for sippy cups all day long.


But, guess what? I've got to go now, so that I can find a sippy cup...

How to buy wholesale from Anderson Bakery.

I have been buying Anderson pretzel rods for years. I started buying them by the large jug about a year or so ago from Tractor Supply of all places. They consistently have these large bins at a much cheaper rate than most places, and one of their stores is next door to my shop.


One day, I thought, hey why am I buying 12 of these jugs at a time from Tractor Supply when I could get them directly from Anderson and save a ton of money?


So, I made one call before Christmas got sent to voicemail, no call back. 3 more calls since Christmas and still no answer. I even spoke directly to a person once, who said she'd send an email to her sales staff and cc the Regional manager to make sure I got a call....uh, still waiting.


Today, I noticed that I was getting low on pretzels again, so I called the manager at Tractor Supply and told her I was getting nowhere with Anderson, so she kindly gave me their contact information.


I placed a call to a guy in New York, meanwhile my oldest son who is not feeling well, is following me around asking about some car game that I have no knowledge of. Mike answers the phone, and I begin to tell him who I am and what I want. Joshua yells loudly that he wants to go down to the basement to find this car game. I said "shhhhh, I'm on the phone". This means, "Please yell louder" in five year old language apparently.


Finally, Mike is done telling me that he can't help and to call another guy named Dave at some other number. Joshua has the basement door open and Jacob is heading down to the mold infested dungeon just as I hang the phone up. He has a block in his hand and tells me it belongs to the car game. This finally triggers a tiny notch in my brain known as "Random knowledge only a mom could possess."


While I'm dialing this Dave's phone number, I carry several birthday bags and two Easter baskets down to the basement and put them away. Upon getting his voice mail, I begin to leave a message while I'm carrying a large plastic car up from basement, that hasn't been used in 2 years.


"Yippee! That's it! That's the car game," exclaims Joshua, just as I'm finishing my message for Don.


Maybe that's why no one will call me back?

Death, Birth, and Rebirth

No, I didn't get the story of Jesus out of order, that was just a brief outline of my weekend.

It was a bizarre and emotional weekend, to say the least.

It began on Friday with the funeral for my cousin's baby. I recommend to everyone--never, ever go to a funeral for a baby. It was the most heart wrenching experience at a funeral that I have ever had, and not one that I will forget any time soon.

Then, on Saturday we had the birthday party for my now 5 year old son, Joshua. He had a blast helping me with the cake, and once his cousins came for the party, he couldn't stop smiling. I will post pictures soon of the cake. I think it turned out very well, considering this is my 6th cake without any formal training. But formal training would be fun.

Then, Sunday came and it was Easter. The egg hunting and easter basket discoveries lit the boys' faces with joy, and gave me a fresh sense of, well, rebirth.

Sadness aside, we all ebb and flow with the ways of the world, and some days are spectacular, and some days leave a bit to be desired. But life is a miracle, one that should be treated carefully and fully appreciated. Don't leave any stone unturned...you never know what you might find.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Joshua and Jacob enjoy a day of play doh in their Lucky Green shirts!

Mommy, watch me!

Running a business and being a stay at home mom is quite possibly the most challenging (read self destructing) thing I have ever done!

I started this business thinking that I'd be able to have my children around while I make pretzels and do the other fifteen million things that go along with owning a business.

The lovely image of my kids playing quietly nearby, perhaps even in their own little room still lingers in my memory. Joshua was about 1 year old when I realized that image was less attainable for me than an original Monet.

My reality is more like this:

Wake up, get the cartoons on for the boys. Find sippy cups and food so they don't starve. (what? I'm a good mom!) Oh, and the dog needs food too, as I can tell by the death stare that I'm getting.

Check my email. Attempt to sit down to actually reply to one, get interrupted for more juice.

Realize we have to get ready for Joshua's preschool, start frantically clothing children and wiping faces, gathering book bags and usually screaming about something like "Joshua, you have to put your coat on it's snowing outside," or "Jacob stop spitting the milk on the table!"

Get Joshua to school, and while waiting in the drop off line I check my iPhone for new email messages, read perezhilton.com for the most important celebrity news in the world, search the weather in San Diego so I know if I need to add ice packs to my shipment today, kiss Joshua goodbye and drive back home. (alternatives to this are going to my wholesale distributor to pick up product, or going to WalMart for groceries, or delivering pretzels for a client, and on occasion getting my crack on at Starbucks)

Once home, Jacob is usually content for at least 2 minutes with his choo-choo. I get out of my pajamas and try to look halfway decent for the day, and start working on the new label/brochure/website idea/whatever else creatively has popped into my head the night before.

I attempt to sit down to get a better angle, when choo-choo man has other ideas. "Momma, help!" I ignore him for a bit because I recognize this cry for help. It is not life threatening.

"MOOOOMMMMA. HELPPP!" Screeching now, I move quickly only because it's annoying, not because I think he's hurt. And I'm right. His choo-choo is stuck. I unstick it and go back to the computer. I'm like a moth to the flame with that thing...can't keep away from it.

Two hours of this back and forth scenario and it's time to go get Joshua. Now the fun starts.

"Mommy, watch me!" Okay, Joshua, just one second. "Mommy WATCH me!" I look. He's standing on his head. "Wow Joshua that's awesome! Good job."

I look away. "Mommy watch me!" What Joshua? I look immediately this time because I know there's no winning. He runs across the room, jumps and spins, and then acts like he's falling to the ground in a daze. "Ha ha ha. that's funny. You're funny, Joshua." I look away.

"Mommy, watch me!" Okay, I see how this day is going. I shut my computer down and sit on the floor to be with the two most important reasons I started this business in the first place. My children need me, and my business can wait. For now anyway. Sooner or later they eventually get into a groove that allows me a good 15 minutes of uninterrupted work time.

Someday they'll be all grown up and won't want me at all, and that's what I remind myself of when I feel frustration while trying to juggle. The day will come when I will long for someone to say "Mommy, watch me."