Mommy, watch me!

Running a business and being a stay at home mom is quite possibly the most challenging (read self destructing) thing I have ever done!

I started this business thinking that I'd be able to have my children around while I make pretzels and do the other fifteen million things that go along with owning a business.

The lovely image of my kids playing quietly nearby, perhaps even in their own little room still lingers in my memory. Joshua was about 1 year old when I realized that image was less attainable for me than an original Monet.

My reality is more like this:

Wake up, get the cartoons on for the boys. Find sippy cups and food so they don't starve. (what? I'm a good mom!) Oh, and the dog needs food too, as I can tell by the death stare that I'm getting.

Check my email. Attempt to sit down to actually reply to one, get interrupted for more juice.

Realize we have to get ready for Joshua's preschool, start frantically clothing children and wiping faces, gathering book bags and usually screaming about something like "Joshua, you have to put your coat on it's snowing outside," or "Jacob stop spitting the milk on the table!"

Get Joshua to school, and while waiting in the drop off line I check my iPhone for new email messages, read perezhilton.com for the most important celebrity news in the world, search the weather in San Diego so I know if I need to add ice packs to my shipment today, kiss Joshua goodbye and drive back home. (alternatives to this are going to my wholesale distributor to pick up product, or going to WalMart for groceries, or delivering pretzels for a client, and on occasion getting my crack on at Starbucks)

Once home, Jacob is usually content for at least 2 minutes with his choo-choo. I get out of my pajamas and try to look halfway decent for the day, and start working on the new label/brochure/website idea/whatever else creatively has popped into my head the night before.

I attempt to sit down to get a better angle, when choo-choo man has other ideas. "Momma, help!" I ignore him for a bit because I recognize this cry for help. It is not life threatening.

"MOOOOMMMMA. HELPPP!" Screeching now, I move quickly only because it's annoying, not because I think he's hurt. And I'm right. His choo-choo is stuck. I unstick it and go back to the computer. I'm like a moth to the flame with that thing...can't keep away from it.

Two hours of this back and forth scenario and it's time to go get Joshua. Now the fun starts.

"Mommy, watch me!" Okay, Joshua, just one second. "Mommy WATCH me!" I look. He's standing on his head. "Wow Joshua that's awesome! Good job."

I look away. "Mommy watch me!" What Joshua? I look immediately this time because I know there's no winning. He runs across the room, jumps and spins, and then acts like he's falling to the ground in a daze. "Ha ha ha. that's funny. You're funny, Joshua." I look away.

"Mommy, watch me!" Okay, I see how this day is going. I shut my computer down and sit on the floor to be with the two most important reasons I started this business in the first place. My children need me, and my business can wait. For now anyway. Sooner or later they eventually get into a groove that allows me a good 15 minutes of uninterrupted work time.

Someday they'll be all grown up and won't want me at all, and that's what I remind myself of when I feel frustration while trying to juggle. The day will come when I will long for someone to say "Mommy, watch me."