Sunday, May 11, 2008

A Mother's Day

I sit down to type this post on Mother's Day. For those of you with children, I hope you are enjoying the day in any way you want.

I have heard women say that on Mother's Day they like to get away from their kids. A friend of mine once said, "It's MY day. Why would I want to be home?"

That really stung me, and I actually changed my view of that person after she said that. I feel like Mother's Day is a day to be with the ones who made you a mother. A day to be appreciated and to appreciate. I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be the mother of two beautiful children, that to think of being away from them today is the last thing I would do.

In my house the rules change a bit on Mother's Day. I don't have to clean or change diapers, and my husband usually cooks and has some kind special treat in store for me.

That hasn't always been the case, however. On my very first Mother's Day ever, things went horribly wrong. I had Joshua in March, after a very stressful pregnancy that resulted in an emergency c-section 5 weeks too early. Mother's Day was just a few short months later and the trauma that I endured, not to mention the difficulty in getting him to latch on, and the insecurity of caring for a tiny 5 pound baby were fresh in my mind. So, I kind of looked forward to a good day of honoring me and all that I went through and a moment to bond over this beloved new being in our home.

First thing in the morning my husband handed me a card. I read the card, and it was "from" Joshua. It said things like "thanks for all the things you've done" and "I'll always remember" and other wording that sounded more from a college student than an 8 week old baby. Probably should not bother me, right? Then, by about 3:00 that afternoon, there was nothing else. No flowers, no nothing. (and please don't get me wrong...it didn't need to be material items, he could've just told me to do nothing all day, or just offered to make me tea...any gesture like that is worth more than anything money can buy)

I know some of you are saying, "What's the big deal? My husband didn't even get me a card." But Mark has set the bar pretty high for himself. This is the guy who on my first birthday with him, took me to a park, dug holes in the ground to place candles in, and had a cake, champagne and flowers all in a big picnic basket. It was lovely, and he continued to out do himself each birthday, valentine's day and Christmas thereafter. So, on my first mother's day ever, it kind of seemed like a no brainer.

My mom and dad were coming over for dinner, but before they got there, we had a huge argument over this, and the card, resulting in the card being destroyed by my husband. (not our finest day, let me tell ya!) Of course then, I immediately started crying because even though that card did not fit the occasion, it was still the very first card I had ever gotten as a mother. (must have been the hormones)

He ran out and got me a new, more fitting card with Snoopy on the front, just in the nick of time for my parents to arrive. We made it through dinner, and the next following 5 years with only minor cuts and bruises.

I don't think I overreacted. I think Mother's work damn hard, with little to no acknowledgement sometimes, and if there's just one day out the whole year that we can have someone bow down to us and make us feel like queens, then I am going to take it. Mother's technically should get a whole month in my opinion.

Of course I will need to make Father's Day special for him too, he did have a little something to do with the whole baby making process after all.

But that's why Mother's Day comes first in the year, so you can do for them, how they do for you. If he forgets Mother's Day, you forget Father's Day, tit for tat.

Although, our first Father's Day, I actually did the opposite of what he did, and made a stepping stone with Joshua's foot and hand prints. I could have done what he did back to me out of spite, but it was more important to give him the kind of Father's Day I felt he deserved.

A story to remember, but hopefully one not to be repeated. So, enjoy your Mother's Day in any way you can, and make sure you take some time to remember what being a mother means.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Happy Mom's Day! I'm glad you had a good one.

Being a single mom from the time Mia was 10 months old, my Mother's Day has definitely been about being a mom! Nobody to give me a break or say nice things. Just a little face needing attention and food and a clean house for yet another day. And no one in my family ever felt the need to make up for a lack of support or kindness from any male in my life, either. So I spent some Mother's Days scrubbing the bathtub and making dinner and feeling a little bit sad.

But I sure do relish being with my daughter. Right there with you on that. And now she's old enough to make me pancakes in bed, which is precious, as well as empty the dishwasher, which is even better!